When things don’t go your way in a xc race it is hard to determine exactly what the problems are. There are the usual waxing disparities and varying pacing strategies as well as countless different methods of training and preparation. Wading through those variables to find the best way to maximize your body’s potential is a daunting task. Throwing diabetes into the mix can sometimes feel like throwing darts at an ocean. I don’t know why I was able to ski effortlessly for 10k of the 15k race on Saturday only to blow up so badly over the last 5k that I lost a 20 second lead and finished in third place. It could have been pacing, it could have been preparation, it could be something I haven’t thought of, or it could be one of a billion variables caused by being an insulin dependent diabetic. My immediate reaction to the race was to figure out exactly why I wasn’t able to perform as expected and make a change. But quite frankly I haven’t been able to determine what went wrong, so I have no choice but to continue trying my best. I have always been an inconsistent performer. Some days I can ski with the best in the world and some days I struggle just to finish. My doctors and I have been unsuccessful determining what makes the difference on my good and bad days. What we do know is that there would be no good days if I were to give up, so I keep going out and giving my all. When the stars align I am one of the best in the world. Maybe instead of obsessing over insulin protocol I will start studying constellations. thanks to Ian Harvey at Toko for the great pictures.